How to properly respond to insults. How to respond and respond to insults and rudeness - examples of phrases Come up with a symbol

First classmates cling to them, then colleagues. What to do if you are called names? No need to panic or ignore the offender. You need to be able to take care of yourself. How to do it? Read all the details below.

understand the reason

If a person clings to you or starts insulting you, you need to enter into the position of this individual. Before deciding what to do if you are being called names, try to find out why the offender is doing it. The most common reasons:

• The feeling is painful to realize that he is wrong, and when he runs out of arguments, he breaks down to scream. In a fit of outburst of emotions, you can say various nasty things.
• Inflated ego. A person with high self-esteem likes to bully others. Such individuals do not offend those who can answer them. They choose weak personalities who can be pressured by authority or intimidated by force.
• Desire to vent anger. All people need emotional release. Someone splashes out emotions while playing sports, someone is engaged in creativity, and someone offends others. What do you do if you are called stupid? Think about whether the person really thinks so, or whether they had a hard day and decided to choose you as an object for emotional release.

There is no point in being offended by the obvious

Are you often called names? Think about what offensive words sound with enviable frequency. Perhaps they tell you that you are short, tall, or bespectacled. Is it really true? What to do if you are called names in a similar style? Don't be offended by the truth. Yes, you may be superior to the rest, but this is your advantage over them, not a disadvantage. If you are short, then consider this feature of your appearance as your unique feature. Do you wear glasses? There is nothing shameful here. A person should not be upset by the truth. Make peace with your appearance and try to love it. You cannot do anything about your physical handicaps. You have to learn to accept them. Each person is unique, and red hair, freckles, big lips or nose should not interfere with your life at all. Take them for granted - and then the insults will stop hurting you.

Control your emotions

Often a person is provoked by peers for the reason that he does not know how to respond to criticism or insults. What to do if you are called names? You need to answer, but the reaction should not be explosive. Some people like to be called names for the reason that they shrink from any sideways glance and begin to tremble or run away from the room. And some individuals try to deal with insults in a different way. They begin to scream wildly and insult the offender in response. Others may be amused by your form of responding to name-calling, and they will be similarly amused at your expense. Don't respond to insults. Know how to control yourself. Do not let others replace excitement or some kind of mental change during a conversation in raised tones. If you stop reacting violently to name-calling, the offender will be bored, and he will soon leave you behind.

Use a sense of humor

What can defuse the situation and cheer everyone up? That's right, humor. You must develop the ability to quickly find the right words, preferably sarcastic. An answer in this spirit will amuse not only you and your offender, but also everyone who watched the skirmish. As a result, the winner is always the one who knows how to stand up for himself better, and not the one who utters offensive words. If you understand that the person insulted you not by accident, but intentionally, humor will be doubly appropriate. You can bring down the arrogance of the interlocutor.

Answer examples

How to respond to an insult with humor and sarcasm? Use template answers. For example: "Say, I always yawn when I'm interested." The phrase is quite original. Such an expression must be accompanied by a feigned yawn. Your composure and ability to save face will amaze the offender, and he will no longer pester you.

Another answer: “Are you getting into my life because yours didn’t work out?” Such a response to offensive words will completely whitewash you. There is no slop here. But still, you need to understand who should say such a phrase, and who should not.

And another option for responding to an insult could be: “Thank you for your interest in me.” By speaking in this way, you do not provoke further conversation in any way, so you can safely leave the offender with your head held high.

Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself

Teenagers take abuse very hard. What to do if you are called names at school? A teenager must understand that it is not always his fault that he has become the object of ridicule. Therefore, one of the good ways is to laugh at yourself. This works well if they call you names not on a regular basis, but from time to time when you find yourself in the same awkward situation. For example, you can say a word incorrectly or eat a chocolate bar in such a way that after eating you will not look too clean. Learn to laugh at your missteps along with everyone. But still, you should not step on the same rake all the time. Having run into unpleasant name-calling twice, try to correct your mistake so as not to listen to offensive words all the time.

Don't make yourself a victim

Who is made to laugh at? Over persons who do not know how to restrain their emotions, and over people suffering from low self-esteem. What to do if a boy calls you names? Do not let others mock and insult you. Strong personalities that no one will touch. So get rid of the false shyness that your mother or grandmother imposed on you. Modesty and courtesy must be dosed. In modern life, these qualities only complicate life, and do not make it better.

If you do not have physical strength, try to crush the offender with your intellect. In this case, you need to read more in order to not only appear to be a smart person, but actually be one.

Learn to accept yourself the way you are. You should not take unreasonable criticism and gross insults to heart.

Don't be afraid to ask a question

What to do if your friends call you names? Try to put pressure on pity. Of course, this is the last way that you should resort to, but still it can be effective in relation to people who love and respect you. When you ask him why he did it? A man's conscience should wake up and he will apologize for his trick. Even if a sense of pride did not allow your friend to immediately apologize, he will simply understand that it is difficult for you to tolerate jokes addressed to him, and he will change the style of communication with you. On the other hand, it would be useful to think about whether such friends are needed ...

What to do if your parents call you names? Check out the same trick. Ask your mom if she really thinks what she says. Not many people know how to control their emotions and for this reason they can offend a loved one in the heat of anger. Cooling the ardor of parents, the child is more likely to be heard than if he insulted adults in response.

What not to do

Man is a complex individual. Not every person is able to argue his particular act. Something is done unconsciously and subconsciously. But not always the result of such actions will be positive. Sometimes a person may be dissatisfied with their behavior. Tips on how to respond to insults were given above, and now we will analyze what not to do.

• Apply force. Fighting has never led to anything good. A cultured person should be able to defend himself with words, not fists. It is foolish to waste your energy on beating up your classmates or friends. And if such a way of behavior in children can still be called acceptable, then for an adult, such behavior is an indicator of low development and inadequacy.
• Seek support from elders. Children and adolescents must learn to find a way out of difficult life situations on their own. There is no point in hiding behind your mother's skirt. Classmates and friends will not be able to respect someone who does not try to solve the problem on their own, but runs to complain to an adult about being treated unfairly.
• Cry. You don't have to show your weakness in public. Tears are a manifestation of emotional release, but still learn to hold them back until you are alone. If you cry every time you are insulted, then offensive words addressed to you will constantly fly.
• Scream. You can't respond to a shout with a shout. Know how to restrain your emotions and keep your cool. Do not show the offender rage, because most often a person wants to achieve this. Your calmness can infuriate the offender, and as a result, he will lose his temper, not you. Remember, victory always goes to the one who managed to save face in battle.

How to properly respond to insults? There is no one in the world who has never been offended.

However, some look optimistic and satisfied with life, while others react painfully to other people's attacks and clog "in a mink".

Let's think about how to properly respond to insults and remain unconvinced?

Big bosses, school teachers, kindergarten teachers, employees of registry offices and housing departments, even ordinary janitors - all the time they strive to offend the innocent.

It is important to distinguish criticism (albeit in a rude form) from insults. A criticizing person will definitely name the facts, his claims are due to specific things and actions.

But the offender often becomes personal, descends to swearing, calling names, but this has nothing to do with your mistakes.

What to do if your boss insults you

In my life there were two opposite working collectives. Pleasant people gathered at the planning meetings of the first one, discussed successes, calmly expressed criticism, and supported those who did not succeed.

After the speech of the talented and calm leader, everyone was full of enthusiasm and set to work with redoubled energy.

At meetings of the second job, the boss constantly shouted, he considered everyone mediocrity and fools.

He could humiliate a young girl for an immodest outfit, a chubby secretary for being overweight, and torture a colleague for half an hour for a crumpled tie.

Exhausted and tired, everyone took up work with reluctance, once a month someone was sure to quit “on their own”.

The easiest way to say “run from this job”, because nothing will change the boss. But not everyone can change lucrative positions like gloves.

However, if you correctly respond to insults, you will soon be able to earn his respect and stay in the team for a long time.

What is needed for that? calm tone, increased self-esteem, smile, self-esteem and understanding of the causes of other people's behavior.

The shorter your answers will be,all the better.

Do not get angry in response, put on a friendly face and forgive the offender in advance. After all, he is weak and primitive, and you are stronger, higher than him.

1. Get away from the situation. Work is not life, it's just work. You get money - not for nerves and complaisance, but for your skills, period.

But no one pays for your peace of mind, so take care of it. Limit contacts with unpleasant people. And after work, friends, children, wife, pets, a delicious dinner, your favorite series are waiting for you.

2. Turn on "ignore". Keep quiet and go about your business until the boss returns to a calm tone.

3. If the offender is inflamed in earnest, you can, hiding malice, thank him for his kind remarks.

He tells you: “Yes, you are probably crazy!”, You boomerang to him: “Oh, you noticed it very well.”

He: “Yes, I have never seen you more stupid,” and you: “Thank you, I appreciate all your comments. I will definitely work on myself." Smile sincerely, well, almost.

4. Consider the scale of the disaster. Is it so scary that a colleague in the heat of a dispute called you an ugly name? There is a war somewhere in the world, someone is always starving, stars explode, new planets are formed ...

On the scale of the universe, the words of some bungler are empty, zero. Should I respond to insults and worry?

5.The method of "aquarium fish" helped many of my colleagues. It is enough to imagine that the boss is talking and talking, and only bubbles come out of his mouth and only gurgling is heard.

Separate yourself mentally from it with aquarium glass and enjoy the view.

6. When they shout at you for no reason (in other words, when it is not necessary to delve into the meaning of words), strain your imagination and Imagine boss, say, giant hamster. Or a harmful monkey that escaped from the enclosure and steals bags from passers-by.

7. Draw air into your lungs and in one breath, exhaling evenly, say: "I would like you to be more polite to me."

Or " Let's get to the point: what specific claims do you have against me? It puts some people in their place, like an ice cold shower.

One of my university teachers managed to overwhelm the smartest students: instead of talking on tickets, she poured personal insults in a low, sarcastic voice. Yes, yes, there are such luminaries of science.

But my not the most gifted (but calm as a tank) classmate managed to pass everything on the first try. During the exam, he also quietly told her, “You are being unprofessional. Let's get back to the subject, shall we?"

8. It is very important to remind presumptuous bosses that slavery and serf labor have long been abolished.

If you are insulted, and you hear cries of “I demand”, “I order” and the like, try changing the tone of the conversation with a calm phrase: “So what kind of request?”, focusing on the last word.

9. The most important – don't show resentment, do not succumb to provocation.

Do not break into response reproaches and shouting, do not move your eyebrows angrily, and in general, do not give the offender a reason to see that you are hurt. And only then will you win.

If the scream is compressed into a lump in your throat, go to the toilet, turn on the taps and scream. And then wash your face, smile in the mirror, take a deep breath - and back again.

10. A few more magical phrases that put a person in his place:“Why are you trying to offend me?”, “Are you having an unpleasant day today? I understand, it happens”, “You seemed to me a different, more pleasant person”, “I didn’t expect this from you”, “Excuse me, are you finished? I would like to work."

11. Control your thoughts. Do not remember offensive words at night, do not invent theoretical answers, do not wish for revenge.

All this exhausts you, spoils your mood, but does not affect the offender in any way.

The most “vindictive” thing you can do is to live peacefully and enjoy the new day in spite of everything.

Resentment is a problematic emotion that no one benefits from. Being offended, a person equally torments himself and the source of his offenses. So what's the point of being offended?

But it would be so easy! In practice, we all get offended from time to time. Someone is stronger, plunging into resentment entirely, someone - holding it back inside and calming it down over time. When communicating with another person, one cannot proceed only from the position that once you are offended, it is worse for the one who “sulks” and does not speak. In most cases, a person will scroll through the scenario of what happened in his head, look for excuses for himself. Therefore, it is appropriate to apologize even when you really did not mean to offend anyone, but “it just so happened”. So you save your personal energy resource and do not provoke unnecessary quarrels.

What to do if you are offended?

First, analyze how much you contributed to the situation, because of which the other person had a sediment and resentment. Perhaps you are really to blame. In order to painlessly resolve the situation, in most cases there is nothing easier than to approach and. We are all different, and therefore, in communicating with each other, jokes, remarks, barbs, and a dismissive attitude can be offensive. When a person is offended and does not talk, it means that you hurt him more than you thought. Understand what's the matter, in the very essence of resentment, it often lies a little deeper than on the surface.

The example when the boss breaks down on an excellent employee who prepared a report all night at his request is quite common. Yes, resentment at work is unprofessional, but a subordinate can harbor a subconscious resentment that will affect his future desire to fulfill his duties. Often it is the people who are loyal to you who are offended. You could raise your voice, point out a shortcoming in front of everyone, scold for some blunders, but not move from the professional to the personal sphere. In a similar way, resentment “works” both in the family and in friendly relations.

Why are people offended?

In society, each person receives his portion of recognition and attention. If the work of a person or himself, as it seems to him, is not appreciated, then resentment begins to accumulate at a subconscious level. This is especially evident in people whom, but they tried their best to please and be useful.

If you were not noticed, then in adulthood the compensation factor works. You will want more attention, affection, warmth, confirmation of significance.

There is nothing wrong with this, but your behavior can provoke other people into harsh statements.

For example, you ask why people are offended by you, but you yourself do not understand that by your desire to move forward and get a share of attention, you turn everyone against you. If someone is offended and does not talk, then think, why is this happening? Are there really too touchy people around? You can apologize many times, but until you reconsider the reasons, you will find yourself in similar situations (even with different people).

What to do if you are offended in the family?

When it comes to relationships between a guy and a girl, between a man and a woman, then you need to consider situations in the context of all relationships. First, try to recognize the cause of the resentment. Many guys do not know what to do if a girl is offended and withdrawn.

There may be several nuances here. First: there is a type of girls who believe that "everyone owes" them. In the circle of girlfriends, the most touchy one will surely be found, and a rare guy does not know a girl who is constantly offended by everyone. This is a resentment for the purpose of manipulation, an incorrectly instilled, exaggerated sense of female dignity. In such situations, you can try to explain to the person that he is wrong, you can even apologize to smooth out the sharp corners of the conflict. But it will not be easy to continue relationships and close communication with such a person. You will put out the fire of resentment and emotions for a long time to come.

What to do if the girl is seriously offended?

It will definitely have to be here. Perhaps you just do not understand how to behave with such a person. This happens, for example, if you grew up in families of different income levels. She was from a wealthy family, and you are from a modest one. A girl may not understand why you do not give luxurious gifts, work hard at work, save money.

In such situations, only a conversation will help. If a girl is interested in a positive outcome of the conflict, she will go forward, try to smooth out sharp corners. However, remember that you could make serious mistakes, severely injure a person. It makes no sense to apologize for the sake of decency, you have to admit that you did wrong.

What to do if the guy is offended?

Men perceive everything differently, and therefore in some situations they are not offended, but angry. The guy will not be offended if you tell him what to do in front of everyone - he will get very angry. Many girls do not understand this, but men believe that only children and women are offended. This is the main difference between the psychological perception of men and women.

However, what if the guy is seriously offended? This usually does not happen because of trifling situations that girls are used to being offended by. This may mean that you did not listen well to his requests and advice. Some women ignore calm conversation until they turn it into a raised voice. They are simply not able to recognize what their men want to convey to them, for whom “chewing” the situation does not mean its solution. As a result, the man gets angry and suffers, accumulating resentment, which subsequently flows into the end of the relationship.

What to do if you are offended?

Here we can draw a simple conclusion. If for some reason you were offended, then try to understand the situation and find out how justified the offense is. Sometimes this is an attempt to manipulate, and sometimes a sincere feeling that you are not able to understand due to various factors (upbringing, life and other points), and the offended person cannot control. The winner will always be the one who first wants to figure it out, apologize and build a strategy for further building relationships.

On a beautiful summer day, my friend and I decided to go to the beach. The weather is wonderful, the mood is excellent, the bus is air-conditioned. And then some passenger, passing by us, throws a rude phrase that it is not at all necessary to stand on the aisle, they blocked, they say, the passage of the pigalis. Light shock was replaced by a spoiled mood. Thank God, it quickly passed, but the case made me think: how to respond to rudeness and rudeness, and at the same time not spoil the mood of my beloved?

Transport, work, random passers-by can become a source of rudeness or outright rudeness that will unsettle you for a long time. Therefore, we studied the advice of psychologists and this is what we found out.

Why are people being rude?

Psychologists are sure that with the help of rudeness, stubbornness, rudeness, a person tries to make others respect him. So you can significantly raise the status, show strength, the rude man is sure. In fact, it is evidence of human weakness. A rude person does not have enough patience, dignity, confidence to win favor in other ways.

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If you are rude and insulted

Is it even worth responding to rudeness at all? Imagine the situation: in the forest you met a stump, which for some reason you wanted to kick. And this is done by everyone who is not too lazy (and not too lazy for many, as most people admitted). Further development of events depends on the stump itself: if it is rotten and partially falls apart, the next desire of the kicker will be the final destruction of the stump. After all, no one needs it: you can’t sit on it, it’s not good for firewood. And if the stump is still hard? You could even hurt your leg! Now imagine that the stump is you (sorry for the unflattering comparison), and the one who kicks it is your offender.

If people react violently to taunts and insults, a rude person, by all means, wants to break these people like a rotten stump. If the victim remains calm, you will not want to pester him next time. Such reactions can be observed especially clearly in children. Therefore, if you do not react to rudeness, as the offender wants, he will leave you alone very soon.

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Sometimes you still need to react to rudeness

Sometimes we are unsettled by tactless questions or statements from people we know and strangers. Why aren't you married yet? And how old are you? Oh, are you well again? This is real rudeness, but often the person asking such questions does not understand it himself. How to respond to such attacks?

The best way is to answer a question with a question. You may ask: "Why are you interested in this?". Or: “Why do you need to know such details from my personal life?”. And then say: “Sorry, but I don’t want to answer.” It turns out both directly and politely.

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How to respond to rudeness

In order to properly respond to rudeness and rudeness, psychologists recommend mastering the techniques of assertive behavior. It sounds scientifically incomprehensible, but in fact, mastering this technique is not difficult. You will not let your emotions take over and you will calmly respond to unkind attacks. To do this, you need to say out loud the shortcomings that you are accused of. This is very effective because it does not meet the expectations of the offender, who thought to hear an angry reaction and is already internally ready for a small or big battle. But he hears: “Yes, it’s my fault, I moved the documents to another place, but I forgot to warn you.” After that, a pause will hang, since the person accusing you will not immediately answer this (he was preparing for completely different events). And if he, when the stupor passes, continues to accuse you again, agree with his opinion, and he will again have no trump cards left - you agree with him, it is simply useless to continue being rude. If the offender finds the strength to continue a one-sided dispute, he will look, to put it mildly, unattractive in the eyes of the team. You will be looked upon as a victim of unfair treatment, even if you are really at fault.

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What to do in response to the rudeness of outsiders?

Do not confuse rudeness and criticism. If criticism, even if harsh, is always aimed at some result, then rudeness is one of the types of unjustified aggression that is directed at a specific person or group of people. When you are rude, it is, of course, unpleasant, but it is possible and necessary to learn how to respond without losing self-esteem.

• not to notice

The best thing to do is to ignore the boor. If you pretend you didn't hear him and act like it doesn't concern you, he will lose interest in you and look for another object to direct his aggression towards. After all, boors are waiting for a response. And the more emotional it is, the more actively you will be rude.

You don't have to show your resentment. In the end, this is exactly what the boor was trying to achieve. Why please him? Say that his words are unpleasant to you, but nothing more.

• regret

If you can’t leave barbs and insults unnoticed, take pity on the offender. After all, if he does so, he is inadequate. He has some problems. This man is really unhappy. He is unloved, unkind, unheeded by his parents, and perhaps by his chosen ones. So he tries to compensate for everything with rudeness, which he considers a defensive reaction. If you treat him like a wretch, his plans for you will change dramatically. The main thing is that your reaction does not serve as an excuse for the offender.

• Upload philosophy or respond with a joke

If you are rude, you can answer with a complex clever phrase. Ask the offender some smart question directly, preferably even if it is rhetorical. It is unlikely that a rude person will understand what exactly they want from him, but he will definitely stop. For example: “Confucius said that good should be repaid with good, and evil with justice. Do you think the great Confucius was right?

Responding to rudeness with a subtle joke is aerobatics. But if jokes don’t come to mind, make a sympathetically cheerful facial expression on which the rude person will read the words “well, you are a fool!” Or answer like this: “Do you want to be rude, my friend? What for? Do you want to offend me? And why do you need it?

• Ignore

Rudeness in our world, unfortunately, is so much that the best way to respond to it is to show indifference. If you avoid rude people, life will be much easier for you. You can learn not to react to others using the following meditation: “I am a leaf on the side of the road. Everyone passes by, no one notices me. Repeat this phrase to yourself if you have become the object of attention of a boor.

• Reply with rudeness for rudeness

"An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth"? We deliberately put this method at the end, since it has a significant drawback, although reacting to rudeness in this way is the first thing that usually comes to mind. If you put a rude man in his place, answering him in the same way, you sink to his level, do not maintain self-esteem. Repaying rudeness with rudeness is a short cut to being known as a boor yourself.

So, rudeness begins when you are ready to endure it. If you are not going to do it, you will not be rude, whether you hear it or not. Free people do not tolerate rudeness. If you hear humiliating statements in relation to your people or country, if you were poorly served in a cafe, if you hear impudent lies addressed to you, do not tolerate such an attitude. This does not mean that you have to respond with rudeness to rudeness, we have considered a lot of other ways. After all, you are a free man. And only people with a slavish perception of reality suffer. But there is one case when you do not need to respond to rudeness at all. This is rudeness on the Internet.

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How to respond to rudeness on the Internet

Here we regularly encounter negative comments, aggressive attacks that are in the nature of text messages. Many people get very upset about this. There was a time when I myself went to the forum 20 times a day to check if my offender had left me new public messages, and in between visits, I scrolled in my head what I would write in response to her next attack.

In fact, it is completely ridiculous to be upset, since these emotions are directed to the void. Understand and accept that these people are completely unhealthy, as evidenced by the excess of aggression that they splash out on the Internet. How do we treat sick people? That's right, we pity them.

Therefore, you should not react to rudeness on the Internet. After all, such people need your attention, they strive to attract it to themselves. And when we give attention to something, we give our own energy. By squabbling with these people, you are giving them what they need. With your answers, you reinforce them, support an aggressive reaction. So that they stop throwing out aggression on Web users, behave with them in the same way as it is customary for young children when they are hooligans. Ignore completely - this is the best tactic. Moreover, it is generally unknown who, and it is unknown where, and personally has nothing to do with you. Another thing is if you have a squabble on the Web with a loved one. Here it is better to meet eye to eye and discuss the problems that have arisen.

There are people who in real life constantly suppress aggression in themselves, but from time to time splash it out on the Internet. The reason is clear, because the World Wide Web is an anonymous medium. But these are the personal problems of those people who have nothing to do with you. Therefore, take care of your energy, it will be useful to you for more important things.

Any of us sometimes has to deal with human rudeness and listen to offensive words and expressions addressed to us. Someone has a tense situation at home, while someone is very unlucky with work, where a scandalous atmosphere prevails, ready at any moment to explode with a stream of abuse and insults. So how to respond to rudeness and rudeness?

Why is it necessary to respond to rudeness, and not be silent?

Psychologists have established that every aggressive outburst from the outside gives rise to auto-aggression in a normal person, which eventually results in a depressive mood, decreased performance, low self-esteem, etc. Such a reaction of the body does not bring anything good with it, and, therefore, it is necessary to learn effective protection against manifestations of alien aggression and the correct reaction to it.

Reasons for rude behavior

One of the most common reasons for rude attacks on a person is his underdeveloped. Such people are much more likely to become victims of rudeness than strong and self-confident individuals. Boars and rude people have a fairly well-developed instinct and will never mess with someone who can give them a decent answer.

If in front of them is a person from a different category, then why not amuse yourself and say something rude to him. Most often, the following types of people fall into the number of offended:

• highly cultured and brought up in the old traditions;
• having low self-esteem;
• trying to avoid conflict situations;
• with a high sense of guilt;
• afraid of hurting and offending other people.

In this situation, the reaction to rudeness can be different, but you should first work on your own so as not to be a constant victim of poorly educated citizens. The acquisition of inner strength will forever relieve third-party aggression, because a strong person cannot be an object of attack.